Raphael Jewish Counselling Service

There are times in our lives when we need someone to talk to, to confide in, to laugh with, to cry with, or simply to share with. If these times are part of our deepest, darkest moments, then the people with whom we choose to share these things might not be our family or friends, but we need to trust them.

Who are these other people?

The counsellors at Raphael Jewish Counselling Service. Each skilled counsellor is a dedicated professional, working for an organisation at the forefront of its field. Raphael’s services are available to all Jews, individuals and couples, living or working in London and the Home Counties. Raphael is a registered charity and clients pay according to their means; no-one is turned away for financial reasons. So if you, or someone you know, might benefit from our services, phone us, in confidence, on 0800 234 6236 and a trained counsellor will respond, usually within 24 hours.

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At One Ment (Rosh Hashanah - October 2008)

Jack Lynes, Trustee of RAPHAEL JEWISH COUNSELLING SERVICE

Why do I invite you to consider the relevance of Raphael Jewish Counselling Service to our High Holy Days? One might compare the feeling of comfort that may come about to our clients (‘come about to’ not ‘given to’) and to us when you and I join fellow Jews at the Kol Nidre or other services and home gatherings during the ten days of Awe. These thoughts might enable us, this year, to add an extra dimension to our experience. Counselling need not be a last resort, or only for someone else and absolutely not ‘for me’. But why ‘Raphael’ and why ‘Jewish’ counselling? Raphael is reputed to be the Angel of Healing who defeated the ‘King of Demons’. A major benefit when seeing a Jewish counsellor is in the shared awareness that will exist from the start of the association.

As Jews we are privileged, I suggest, to have a special relationship with the Divine. Our prayer books contain passages describing the attributes of the Holy One, and prayer after prayer is address to Him (although in some wordings, references to any gender have been substituted). From time to time we receive answers to our pleas and often words of command and advice. But the Deity usually listens and we, individually or together, speak. As with counsellor and client. We give thanks confessing our sins, individually and collectively. We have an opportunity to reflect, to consider where we are in our life. We make resolutions, put problems into perspective, release stress, ponder relationships, meditate, dream, come to terms with life, our life. Do we, perhaps, come to pray before The ‘Counsellor of Counsellors’? And if so, dare we admit to being ‘the Client’ at this Holy Time?

Raphael Jewish Counselling Service would wish to be the servant of that ‘Counsellor of Counsellors’ and invites you to avail yourself of its services or to perform the mitzvah of informing others about us. This could be the at-one-ment of a lifetime.

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Can Anyone Hear Me? (Jewish News Advertorial - September 2008)

Roberta Coffer, Chairman of RAPHAEL JEWISH COUNSELLING SERVICE writes…

Counselling hits the headlines in phases, as does the crime rate and the latest sports sensation. These stories sometimes are read, may be discussed and often are forgotten until the next headline. The difference with counselling is that the problem in question is rarely discussed and usually never forgotten. So how can this be resolved? By finding people who not only listen, but hear; who understand how we feel without judging us; who treat our problems confidentially. The counsellors at Raphael Jewish Counselling Service are such people. Each skilled counsellor is a dedicated professional, working for an organisation at the forefront of its field. Raphael’s services are available to all Jews, individuals and couples, living or working in London and the Home Counties. Raphael is a registered charity and clients pay according to their means; no-one is turned away for financial reasons. So if you, or someone you know, might benefit from being heard, phone our confidential number - 0800 234 6236 - and a trained counsellor will respond to your message, usually within 24 hours.

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The Gift of Freedom (Pesach - April 2008)

Jack Lynes, Trustee of RAPHAEL JEWISH COUNSELLING SERVICE

As we listen again to the story of Passover and explain to our children why ‘this night is different from all other nights’ and argue over the various traditions that have come about through the ages, we are often perplexed at a slight discomfort within ourselves. True, our ancestors seem to have managed their escape very successfully.

They even succeeded in bringing bread with them, and who could imagine our recounting of their sojourn without reference to the Matzoth? So why the discomfort? There may be a clue if we clear our minds and look not so much at the tyranny and oppression from which ‘we’ were fleeing, but rather the freedom which ‘we’ were seeking.

Was it a freedom to observe our Judaism, to worship The One on High rather than bow down to idols? Was it a freedom to work and achieve as equals in ‘our’ land? It was all this and more. Released from bondage and slavery, ‘we’ could hold our heads up high and be true to ourselves. Pressing the right buttons, in the right order, we could be complete people. A people alive. A people aware. A people who matter. A people concerned about others.

Might this be the time to ask ourselves a fifth question? Being concerned about others is not simply a challenge to the conscience which can be resolved by acts of charity. That discomfort may be due to ‘our’ failure to respond to a fellow Jew who although physically free, has a mind in captivity. Like a computer which does not respond, help is required to rekindle the flame and loosen the shackles.

Raphael Jewish Counselling Service now reaches out to many clients from all sections of our community. The final success of Raphael Jewish Counselling Service will come when it is no longer needed. That time, alas, is some way off. Please make us known to any fellow Jew whom you think might add to our work and let Raphael, the Angel of Healing contribute to that most precious of possessions which we celebrate during these special days, the gift of Personal Freedom.

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Press Release Exclusive to The Jewish Chronicle (8 April 2008)

Jack Lynes, Chairman of Raphael Jewish Counselling Service for the past five years, handed over to Roberta Coffer at the AGM held on Raphael Day. Roberta has been associated with Raphael for many years, having served as a Counsellor and Counsellor Representative on the Management Committee.

During Raphael Day, psychotherapist Claire Bartram led a Workshop on Stepfamilies. It was quite a surprise to find that of the 50 people attending, about 80% actually had a direct interest in the subject.

In his closing remarks as Chairman, Jack emphasised the progress made during his term of office, and particularly welcomed the patronage of Chief Rabbi Sir Jonathan Sacks, Rabbi Dr Tony Bayfield and Rabbi Dr Abraham Levy OBE.

Notes for Editor

Raphael is a well established counselling service available to the whole Jewish community. Founded in 1979, it is a member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy and is bound by its codes of ethics and practice. It is not restricted to any particular sector of the Jewish community, or to any particular area of counselling.

Raphael offers support to people who, for example, are dealing with illness or bereavement; difficulties with family, couple or marital relationships; are suffering from depression or anxiety; have problems resulting from a particular experience or trauma; or to those who are struggling with the stresses of daily life, including work or unemployment.

Not everyone who could benefit from counselling can afford to pay fees charged in the private counselling sector. At Raphael, clients are asked to consider for themselves what they feel they can contribute towards the cost of their counselling sessions. No-one is turned away through lack of funds.

Raphael has been offering support to Jewish people for nearly 25 years. Like many charities it has modest running expenses and many supporters who give their time and skills free of charge. Any donations we receive enable us to continue our vital work and are greatly appreciated.

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Pills, Potions, Or Professional People (Jewish News Advertorial - March 2008)

Jack Lynes, Trustee of RAPHAEL JEWISH COUNSELLING SERVICE

COUNSELLING is in the headlines. Pills and potions are not only costly but in many instances have been shown to be less than effective. Medicine certainly has a part to play in helping some forms of depression but it is true to say that effective counselling is more likely to get to the heart of the many ‘can’t cope’ problems which so many suffer silently. And the danger of possible side effects of prescribed medicines can be thrown aside. Raphael Jewish Counselling Service, widely regarded as London’s premier professional service for Jews of every persuasion, offers counselling to individuals and couples. It is a registered charity. Clients pay according to their means and no-one is turned away for financial reasons. Our counsellors are caring and conscientious. And of course, the service is strictly confidential. Phone 0800 234 6236 and you will be contacted, usually within 24 hours, and have the opportunity to discuss what might be possible. If you have a relative or friend who you think might benefit it really is a Mitzvah to let them know about us.

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Making a Megillah Out of Purim (Purim - March 2008)

Jack Lynes, Trustee of RAPHAEL JEWISH COUNSELLING SERVICE

Sure, one can relate the work of Raphael, the Angel who heals, and whose name adorns the Jewish Counselling Service, to our Rosh Hashanah referring to new beginnings and the opportunity to choose life. And then at Pesach we can relate to the son who ‘does not know how to ask’. But Purim? Haman ? Esther? Mordechai? Lots to drink? And then it came to me. The Megillah. And people being someone else. Grown up, mature adults, as well as children, choosing to wear costumes of characters in a story recited twice on this Festival, which is frequently celebrated without regard to its implications. It would indeed be unwise to neglect the fun to be had by even the most unlikely characters who somehow manage to put on a smile, which would make a welcome change were they to practise the art more often.

But it is the Megillah itself that can so easily be associated with what Raphael Jewish Counselling Service is all about. Like our clients, who often come to us at a dark time in their lives, and later, seeing the light of day continue their ‘contract’, so we are commanded to read the Megillah at first when night falls and it is dark, and then the next day. Perhaps even more important than reading it, we must hear it, and according to the commandment, each word must be heard. And when our clients speak, their every word must be heard. The art of listening is a very important part of every counsellor’s training. True, counsellors do not interrupt their listening with booing and hissing, but they may help the client be rid of at least some of the demons which afflict them.

The word ‘Megillah’, like so many words which have been extrapolated from our traditions, is often spoken of somewhat negatively. It may describe a reaction to someone making quite a short story extend far too far (‘making a whole Megillah out of it’) or over gesticulating about a somewhat minor matter and not knowing when to stop. But there is another Megillah aspect that deserves our attention as we celebrate Purim. Problems, worries, lack of confidence, unhappiness, mental injury, loss, despair, relationship difficulties, and many other personal situations, although for many, quickly sorted, for others, they become a ‘Whole Megillah’. And such ‘Whole Megillot’ left unattended, can grow and grow, both in depth and time.

It could be you. Or a relation. Or a friend or a friend of a friend. Or even a ‘couple’. May I invite you to bring any such ‘Whole Megillot’ to us at Raphael? In the very best sense of the words, perhaps you will remember us as the ‘Big Megillah Shooters’ Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the only Megillah around when we next celebrate Purim is the one that is read at this time and the one of which we should hear every word.

Raphael Jewish Counselling Service is a registered charity and serves all sections of the Jewish Community here in Pinner and in most parts of Greater London and the surrounding areas. You may phone 0800 234 6236 in complete confidence and be assured of a professional approach from start to finish.

Making a Megillah out of Purim is to be encouraged. But a Megillah out of life’s problems? Surely there are better ways of living life to the full.

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Raphael Annual Report and Accounts 2007 - Download HERE

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A Message For The High Holy Days (Rosh Hashanah - September 2007)

Jack Lynes, Trustee of RAPHAEL JEWISH COUNSELLING SERVICE

SHUT DOWN 1

This really was the end. Despite pressing every button on the keyboard and checking every plug, there was no response. I remembered that first time I had made acquaintance with my computer and how I had marvelled at what it could do. The information that could be brought up on screen was truly wonderful and to be able to send and receive Emails anywhere in the world, well, that was indeed a miracle. Later, with the advent of broadband, I wondered how I ever had the patience to wait those few extra seconds to load up a page and quietly cursed when the system went a little slower. And sometimes it would dare to freeze, a happening which really did draw my wrath. But this was not to be a final farewell after all. Despite having to go through the rigmarole of deciding which of six options to take, the telephone helpline assistant, speaking from some far off land, explained that although I might have pressed all the keys, they would have no effect unless I did so in a specific order. Carefully following her instructions, and for once not worrying about the mounting telephone bill as I did so, hey presto, I was back, up and running. Or at least, I thought I was. Certainly the screen had come alive and I was able to Google again. It was only when I came to send an Email that I discovered to my horror, all my addresses had been lost, as had my back-up of diary dates, phone numbers, and ‘favourites’ , those bookmarks which store items for reference, and to cap it all, ‘My Documents’ too were missing. Sleeping this would have been a nightmare. But to me, after a pinch to reassure me that I was both alive and awake, it was a catastrophe. My only hope, and I must admit that I was not in the least optimistic, was to call in the expert. The story has a happy ending. He came. He fiddled. He put discs in and he took discs out. He shut everything down. He even unplugged the telephone. He admonished me for not arranging adequate back up. And two hours later my problems were at an end. Not only had my computer been restored but I too stopped taking for granted its usefulness and the technical wonder that it represents. And I resolved not only to ensure that I do keep proper back up in future but also that I remain aware of and grateful for the marvel that is……a computer.

SHUT DOWN 2

They told him to pull himself together. He had lost his job. They told her to get to grips with it. She had thought all was well and then discovered her son was up to no good. They said that he had nothing to worry about but he could only see himself as a failure. She was urged to put it all behind her but was constantly nagged by a fear of loneliness. He was ordered simply to lay off but despite his love, he continued to bully. It was suggested that they stop seeing each despite the fact that they were lonely and depressed when apart. A second generation holocaust survivor, she felt guilty and couldn’t understand why. He was middle aged and daily feared the worst. She simply could never keep a job. He was miserly and deprived himself of food and heat. She was obsessed about what she ate and he simply could not relax. Calling in an expert for two hours would not resolve any of these and similar dilemmas. But a call to Raphael Jewish Counselling Service and arranging an initial consultation/assessment with an intake counsellor might be a very good start. Raphael counsellors might help him or her or even him and her to find which buttons to press and the right order in which to press them. They certainly won’t perform any miracles or tell anyone what to do, nor will they admonish anyone. But their professional confidential help might give him or her a good back up in the event of a future crisis and many a client who has been to them in despair is a silent witness to what is possible.

SHUT DOWN 3

Our High Holy Days are above all, days of opportunity. The Jewish way of life regards prayer as an obligation and there is a blessing for well nigh every act that we perform throughout each day. Such demands are met by each individual according to his conscience but there is little doubt that those who seldom pray, when they choose so to do, are apt to find it more difficult. As to the three or four times a year Jew, when they do return to the fold, they may well find that the ‘memory’ needs to be re-awakened and the cogs oiled. It takes longer to ‘boot up’ when one has been ‘turned off’ for any length of time. Even so, it is true that a full congregation on these occasions does add something special for us all. For a while we are ‘at one ment’ with each other as well as with ‘the One on High’. But as I prepare to bow out of office after five years as Chair of Raphael, I am increasingly aware of how so many of my fellow Jews, feel left out, physically alive but missing out on life. It is probably true to say that materially, ‘we have never had it so good’. If only life were that simple. The New Year, we are told, is a time to reflect on what has been and to resolve our future. I would add a plea that as we do so we look with optimism, regarding the threats and often gloomy forecasts as challenges. We have to learn not to press all the keys at once when there is a temporary shutdown, but to press them in the proper order. Yes, I do believe that prayer can play a part, just as the plug must be switched on before we press the keys. The final success of Raphael Jewish Counselling Service will come when it is no longer needed. As it now reaches out to more clients than ever, from all sections of the community, that time, alas, is some way off. Please make us known to any fellow Jew whom you think might add to our work and let Raphael, the Angel of Healing be in your prayers.

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Raphael Annual Report and Accounts 2006 - Download HERE

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Raphael Annual Report and Accounts 2005 - Download HERE

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Raphael is a member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy